"Circles" - A Poem

Circles

Good

Bad

The construct
Of these simple words
And their larger meaning is

[…]

Like when temptation
And gratification
Override the ghost of you

Turn your attention now to
The satisfaction
That comes from fantasy     over     reality.

[You] ruined me.

I always believed in monogamy
Until I discovered
What little
This notion meant to so many.

I became my worst enemy.

Throwing away the delicate nature
Of my heart.
Burning buildings
And breaking things
All on my own.

I feel dirty.

I was doing so well
Climbing above the rubble born from
My new-found destructive nature.

I want to blame the person who made me feel
Like I wasn’t good enough
But the truth is,

Maybe I like the danger

And maybe I’m not deserving.

Simply stated,
It’s easier to tell you
That it’s not on my mind
Than to sit in the idea
That love can exist here.

I need to believe that
There’s some semblance of decency
That still remains
But I’m not sure I’m willing
To test success, when
failure is so familiar.

[You] ruined me.

But I ruined myself.

The hole is deep.
The surface is eroding.

For when you believe something
Long enough
It loses its bearings in fiction.

I feel dirty.

[And I don’t like the danger]

The momentum is so heavy
And I’m not sure I’m strong enough
To slow    it       down.

Trust is foreign
And when you can’t see
What once lived
Behind the labyrinth of selfishness
And impulsivity
That has become you

Remember…

The body you were born in
And the heart that still remains there,
Through the waxing and the waning
You’re just one person

And it’s said that

Imperfection makes you human

And forgiveness is a lesson

For your mistakes do not become you

‘less you let them.

- Sharon Teuscher Copyright © 2017


If this resonated with you, I'd love to hear your story or thoughts in the comments below.